The Pen, The Page, The Paper

I'm Holding On To A Fairytale

Tue, 02 Jun 2009 00:31:06 GMT

Its been awhile like usual.
I feel a lot has changed.
A lot I am scared of that will come.
My leave date for the Navy has been pushed to August
I will be going in as a CB.

I might have the job at The Scott's in Belfair
Just gotta go in
I'm also sorta seeing a lovely girl.
=]

But honestly I'm really scared of what will happen
Just the thought of leaving now.
I know I have to but I was dicked around for so long.
it just scares me.

[xoxo]
[mike]

I WAS A CAGE!

Sat, 21 Mar 2009 18:16:54 GMT

Fuck parties.
Fuck people
Fuck friends
Fuck this town.
Fuck this area.
I want out.

Shot down over the skies of liquid death
It may have been a like but I was confused.
It may have been one night.
I regret what I said during the course of dusk and daylight.

Also there has been a loss in my life.
Another mother I once knew.
She sleeps in odds and ends now.
I didn't get to see you before you were laid to rest,
and I miss you so much.

Now the words are gone and I am speechless.

[xoxo]
[mike]

"We're All Vampires And We Own This Fucking Night"

Fri, 20 Mar 2009 05:15:16 GMT

"How long until the tables turn?
When will we ever get what we deserve?"

I've been thinking a lot the last couple
days about going back to Australia.

All aboard whose coming aboard.

Social Security keeps giving me the
run around.
They keep saying I have
dual citizenship than saying I don't.

I'm really tired of it. I need a hug.

I will always be a citizen there cause
I was born there. And its not cheap
to become a citizen here either.
My navy career is delayed for awhile.

"So here's to another banner year,
We've crossed that thin line,
Don't try to hold us here"

Also why would you make a choice
to move on than put yourself back
in the same position. stupid. Grrr.

"I'd Rather Live Than Live Forever"

I'm sorry if my first entry in a while is just
and angry rant. But this is whats going on in my life.

[xoxo]
[mike]

"We All Carry These Things Inside That No One Else Can See."

Fri, 19 Dec 2008 09:38:59 GMT

Its funny how life will give you a twist and you keep on hitting.
I'm still standing, still moving. It always seems like a long time
between when I get around to posting. I guess that is me being
"busy".

At one time I think I could have been a father. Sadly I won't be.
I'm trying to find reasoning in why I will not be. But honestly its
too much. I become the optimistic one instead. Telling myself
good comes out of all things. Or maybe its me lying to myself
to keep me going. I could not say. The mind is such a terrible
yet amazing thing.

So I'm in the process of joining the Navy. I go for MEPS on
January 5th. Ship out sometime in May. Its a chance for me
to see the world. Become something. Yeah a bit of real life
serves a body good. Most of "The Friends" either are angry or
just don't talk to me about it. They say I'm doing it all for the wrong
reasons. I'M DOING IT FOR ME! That is final. This will be good.
Its only 4 years. 100% collage. Yup.

The weather has been a touch of disaster lately. Freezing cold.
SNOW! Shitty road conditions. I spent about 5 full days at my
house. Scary considering I'm never at my house for that long.
For some reason I did not want to leave for it was cold and well
I just did not. I instead started writing a song and played A LOT of
guitar. Its something I suppose.

[xoxo]
[mike]

When The Time Comes

Sun, 02 Nov 2008 02:51:48 GMT

There will be no choice but to stop and leave.
Leave for a good reason, raising a white flag

Like Sitting In The Back Seat and Boring Me With Your Body

Fri, 24 Oct 2008 08:06:28 GMT

I've made a generalization of where I'm ending up right now.
Not too far.
This city is a pit, a succubus.

Negatives:
I got laid off
My bank loan payment was late
My parents are urging me to Join the military

Positives:
I bought a car.
(A Chevy Celebrity)
Meh! Its a car
I got to see Kevin.
I miss that kid.

Other than that I've been putting in applications.
Playing a lot of guitar. Mainly acoustic since I don't have an amp anymore

If there was a chance to get out of this town I would take it.
If I could find one...

Now Each Day I Sink A Bit Faster Into My Father's Fate.

Wed, 10 Sep 2008 03:23:16 GMT

Four Packs A Day. Four Decades Straight.
Right To An Unmarked Grave.

If the clouds fell from the sky.
And everyone was disappearing
Who would you want to be sitting there
to watch the end with you?
I could not tell you who I would be sitting with
I just hope they will have nothing to say.
Just eyes wide open.

*****************************************************

Sometimes plans are shattered for a thing or two
that becomes less and less pro-active.
But what do I have to say that would put
anything in motion.
I'm a fool in mind and a fool in sight.
I'm only a dreamer.
A small bird in your ear.
Behind the drum

*****************************************************

Waiting...
Just Waiting...
For Something...
Anything...
One Thing...
Or Nothing...
Waiting...

[xoxo]
[mike]

Sunshine hides from the sky, We're all just sinking, Waiting to die.

Sun, 24 Aug 2008 08:43:42 GMT

Yes I have been a ghost.
Been writing, thinking.
I feel as if I am waiting
for something to happen
and I don't know what it is.

Maybe its a better job,
Maybe its a new town.
Maybe its someone to
come along and change
everything. Have some life
in them not the same endless
thoughtless city. A city not built
on dreams but on devastation.

But I will wait...
Something is bound to be uplifting.

Terrified, Blind, And Wait To Die

Sat, 28 Jun 2008 07:46:28 GMT

So I have a new job.
Its going good. Kinda painful.
My finger tips hurt so much.
Constant contact with odd wood chemicals, etc.

What is a rut to fall into when you are diving in from the sky?
Seems to me you might get a few cuts and scrapes on the way down.
How to explain what I feel? Easy, Don't. Not at all. Keep it to yourself.
Away from the masses. Go about your day as if there is nothing bothering you at all.
Keep it under the skin with the other thoughts that rage through your mind.
Maybe it was a bad idea, but you can not take it back without a confrontation of gigantic
proportions. Sadly I might have to. To keep it together, to keep on a path.
A JOURNEY!
AN ADVENTURE.
And its miles away from here.
End.

This Man Will Stand The Test Of Time

Thu, 12 Jun 2008 23:19:39 GMT

Its thursday afternoon and I am sitting posting an entry while watching a toddler.
IF this is what my life has come to than strike me out. The job market is all but dead.
Its getting so hard to find a job at all. I'm hoping for this job at Ace Hardware. But it is
looking even more grim as days go by.

"I WISH this didn't mean so much to me; to be a MONUMENT for the rest of them"

Every day is another building burning
and its getting harder and harder to see through the smoke.
I'll burn out my eyes just so I can get through it.

There is a suttle conforment
to these words that I speak.
If you don't listen the first time
its pointless said again.

[xoxo]
[mike]

May The Best Man Choke On Pride

Sun, 08 Jun 2008 09:02:52 GMT

"Cogito ergo sum"

It Must Be Buried Under The Heart

Fri, 23 May 2008 07:03:09 GMT

Simple yet complicated.
Through and Through,
Their is Napalm in the trees for sure.
We're burning through the forest
We're burning through the ground.
This flame will lick the boots we wear.
Their is reason, their is unrest.
Sure I am of lack. But still simple and divine.
Who will read this? Who will pass it on?
We are all flawed in our own little ways.
This is cluttered but let the truth stand out in the rain.
Cleanse this forest and what remains.

This isn't supposed to make sense; and don't think it does.
Only to me it will,
You won't know.
You won't know.
You won't know.
You won't know.
I love you so much,
but do me a favor baby,
don't reply.
'cause I can dish it out,
but I can't take it.

I Used To Think It Was Sleep...

Sun, 30 Mar 2008 07:29:07 GMT

The deed will be done.

I'm no longer going to put myself through this.

I'm passing the lease over to someone else.

Jake is a wreck, the apartment is a wreck.

I can't live like that. I'm through and through.

I need my rest from all.

I might isolate myself away from the world for a while.

Do some thinking, meditating, reading, writing, playing.

Be creative again.

Like a flush to my system.

Only better.

Wish me luck.

I'm going to need it.

Mark My Words, We're Taking Over The World

Mon, 17 Mar 2008 09:30:34 GMT

So yeah its been a while, yeah I've been dealing with some major shit.
Some of which I just don't want to talk about. My room mate Jake has turned
into a tumor in my head that is surely degrading what it is to have a place of your
own. Most days I just want to rip his beating heart out and stomp all over it.
I know thats morbid but its the truth. He makes me sick to my stomach.
it all started when money got really tight. A couple weeks ago. We got into
a full on fist fight. I fucked up the right side of his face. And he broke my finger.
Sad chain of events. After we talked about it and I thought we were cool again
cause you know you got to have each others back. It turned into the silent treatment.
I hate him so much. Grrrrr >.<

I want so badly to get out of this town or at least move into my own place where I don't
have to deal with this shit. Its pissing me off to a point where I don't want to be here.

On to something that doesn't make me feel like shit.
I've got so many sweet riffs I want to record at the moment
its unbelievable. I started jamming with my co-worker Cory.
Its been pretty awesome. I jammed a few with my neighbor Ray
which was also awesome. I kinda fed off them. Both of them play bass
so it gives me room to interject and create such great things. I suppose.
i'm hoping to get some of it recorded in the near future. ^.^

I'm starting to write some new songs also. I know I go through fazes
of withdrawel where I can't think of anything for the liufe of me. It happens.
But we will see.
:: shrug ::
Been chillin with Stevie a lot. It's cool
Even though I made a few mistakes in the past week
that would of pissed any moral person off. Yah I'm so
sorry. But everyone knows that. I make a few judgement calls that
are not my brightest but I am quick to know it and apologize profusely.

But anyway I don't even know why I am up so late. i have to work tomorrow.
But this was my rant. It sucked. I'm tired so you can relate.
So if anyone was expecting some awesome spew about life.
I apologize. My spelling also was not the greatest in this either.
And well it happens. goodnight.

[xoxo]
[mike]

Discourse I

Wed, 27 Feb 2008 02:30:01 GMT

"Here's Your new Blood

Transfusion Took Us All Night

Tell Us That You're All Right

No It's Not Love

Though Feels Like Fire Inside Of Your Veins...."

So if you could only reach the center to find what you've been looking for
You would find a glass soul filled with ideas, ideas that would destroy
peoples perception on you and those of your generation. They push us
down at every chance they get. For the sheer thought of thoughts. Overpowering
as they may seem. Its the truth. We don't matter anyway. We will just be a
ship about the sea. Repeating REPEATING! Repeating! We will break through.
We are what moves the world like the moon and the ocean. We will be what is left.
Whether it be for good or nay.

We are the new generation!
We will overcome.

As I Scream Aim And Fire, The Death Toll Grows Higher

Sun, 24 Feb 2008 01:15:09 GMT

Have you ever had such a long day and long night?
The longest. The most intriguing. The most
insane. That was yesterday. For sure.
So many things on my mind, were
washed away or cleared up.

Last night was equally as crazy due to a little bit
of drinking, but cleared things up. Had a few great
conversations with the likes of Jake and Miss Adair.
And Karen helped out a lot none the less. Especially
with the ever furthering insanity of the guys. But the night
ended just as thought it would. Back to being myself and being
the nice guy, like usual.

Fri, 22 Feb 2008 03:27:28 GMT

"Let's call this the quiet city:

Where screams are felt as a wave of stoplights

Drive through the streets as gunshots punctuate the night

The sides we take divide us from our faith

And the morning dove gets caught in the telephone wire"

I'm Trying Harder And Harder Not To Swallow My Teeth...

Mon, 18 Feb 2008 01:00:45 GMT

...But Falling Was Just The Space Between Me And The Ground

[xoxo]
[mike]

I will fill this void inside my head. An emptiness only a heart can send. How could you be so blind?

Sat, 16 Feb 2008 04:04:38 GMT

Yay!
It's Friday.
Finally.
I work tomorrow
8-noon but thats nothing

I find myself halted by something
doing the right thing
being the nice guy.
Keeping friends.
I try really hard to be a good friend.
I succeed more often than none.
But their can be hinderer's
and they only come from how you feel.
Emotion is overrated anyway.

Why not be bland?
Why not just not give a shit?
Stupor Stupor Stupor
Alcohol only enhances it.
Yet still, gotta do the right thing

Maybe eventually it will pay off.
But I guess I'm moreover a
pessimist. Most people are
even though I try not to let
the people I know become too pessimistic.
I myself... well what do expect?

NOTHING!
Not much more than that.
Give all I can, take nothing back.
Not one thing.

But you know. I try.
I have hopes, I have dreams
I have everything I need.
but not really. Contradiction
in itself.

I guess I'm too obvious.
But alas I can keep trying.
We will see now won't we.

I really want to do something tonight,
Ponder Ponder Ponder.
What to do?
What is their to do in this town anyway.
The answer is pretty bold.
Yes it is.

[xoxo]
[mike]

The Wolves Wear The Wool Of The Sheep They Have Fooled

Wed, 06 Feb 2008 03:26:32 GMT

Again I see myself with the absent of color in a world where their is so much.
It could be the lack of self-worth or the Hunger for some new life. Something to
light the passage in an empty tunnel filled with pestilential over-barings. Lest I
work for something that I seem not to be able to grasp. A person, a being, a life.
I guess I will keep the evidence wrapped up in my head. Away. Stay small or
lest let the light pour in or not at all.

I will not let it be too thought provoking.
I am absent.

" An epidemic with allure that brings intrigue to the dullest minds."

"Exit The Vein. Exit The Lungs. Exit The Body."

Tue, 29 Jan 2008 06:21:23 GMT

"Never The Heart..."

Sorry this took so long
Had to get myself together.
Get myself out from under
the grove.

Down in the swamp again.
Kicked in the knees.
Keeping it together.
Keep telling myself
life isn't that bad

Keep telling myself
Life is getting better.

Getting the apartment
on the 1st of February.
Right around the corner.
Right around the bend.

Keep myself centered
on the goal. Good advice
I gave to a friend.

Kevin left for boot.

Thats 3 down.
But they won't take me.
No Sir'ee
I am my own independence.

But I will keep it together.
Everyone else is counting on
me to keep them together.
Through their hard times.

But I might reflect them
eventually...

So keep the punches coming:
left, right, right, left, left.
One more trophy on my wall.

But we will see....

Tired Of Waiting For My Stationary Third World To Rotate

Wed, 09 Jan 2008 08:01:49 GMT

Update coming soon.
So hold the thought.
I promise my life is disasterous.
And always seems to have something missing.
I know what it is. But their is no point.
::fail::

All Your Artists Are Just Servants Of The Status Quo

Tue, 04 Dec 2007 15:38:29 GMT

Completely mesmerizing the sheer plentifulness of anti-friends
that want to be your friend; but not really. Tantalizing. Another story
for another time. I fear I rant on about that way too much for my own
good.

I need to start writing new material for "Me"
Something that I can't stress enough. I might
have an opportunity to accomplish is making
music. I talked to a friend of a friend. Maybe
she will be as open minded as I. And have pace;
a slow one. More worried about creation then
expression. That would really be...

Something I would really like.
(Plain and simple)

Good voice, good guitar work. Just needs a little
bit of direction. I can not say that I am not excited.
But excitement maybe a little too early in the scheme
of things. I guys I can only hope and wish.

I have a ~~cold~~...headcold. Sure we will call it that.
Not the greatest commodity to have. Symptoms
range from: Coughing, congestion, running nose,
phlem (or something like it ::slash:: mucus); Just
discusting. Need to cure myself fast. It is driving
my patience.

As for a band that is really exciting for me:
Crime In Stereo
with their new album. I can't get enough
of it.

Repeat Repeat Repeat
Amazing...

I have not slept tonight either.
Could not is more like it.
Listening to the music && playing a few video
games. Yeah, everyone has a little bit of nerd in
them. :: shrug ::
I do not think I will be getting any tonight/today.
Whichever.

Got plenty of time on my hands...
I'm only ~~young~~... aging.

I'm Biased and By This I'll Judge You on Weakness Wrapped Up In My Own Innocence

Fri, 30 Nov 2007 11:26:24 GMT

What a stressful week.
I'm so tired of trying to hang around the worse of the bunch.
Simple.
By God, I just can't repeat myself over and over again.
Can it just be the end of the road already
Where I can take my way. And other be taken
but by the abandonment.
Thats all it ever is.
Quite.

Try to keep the ones you really care about close.
Cause in an instance, they might not be there.
This could be taken two ways... Just so you know.

If I could only loose my eyes
maybe then I wouldn't have
to worry so much about everything.
Put a twist on life for sure.
I won't.
I'm already miserable.
Why make it worse.
Someone's got an answer.
And we all deserve something.
Just try and figure it out though.

What do you want?
Knowledge.
Fame.
Infamy.
Talent.
Something like that I bet.

Most fail.
I'm trying not to fail at what I want.
But its so hard to try, when trying is harder than you know.

Someday.
in the future...
keep striving.
something will happen.

That Heaven And Earth May Strike Their Sounds Together

Sun, 18 Nov 2007 13:01:37 GMT

So tonight was good night
for various reasons////////////
xMOTHER FUCKINGx

On The Last Day

&&&

From Aphony

Didn't get any pics though/
The new singer of On The Last Day
is really good.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

I should totally be asleep right now but I'm not. Sound familiar.
Only cause I'm curious. If you know a friend (dude) is lying to a friend
but telling the other friend (chick) would make them unhappy...again.
(Due to the fact they are getting over an ex-boyfriend)
Yet the chick could quite possibly be happy for the first time in a while
all the while the friend you thought was a friend is a snake in the grass
yet for some reason you keep him around cause their has been moments
in your life where he has had your back!!! WTF!!!
Fuck It All... not my problem... If my chick friend gets hurt
than I will kill him. I've known her longer anyway and she is much
better of a friend or something like that. We will see.
I swear life is just like one of those soup operas...

Disgusting.

FUCK IT!

PEOPLE

ARE

FUCKING

RETARDED
AND

DRAMATIC

AND

MOST OF THEM

ARE NOT WORTH

MY PATIENCE!

GAHHHH!!!

ANGRY BLOG!!!!

-END-